


Don't cry, ~craft~.

by sinking_wthatship



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2016 Phan, 2017, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Choking, Comfort Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Existential Crisis, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Headcanon, House Party, Kms bye, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Melancholy, Mild Hurt/Comfort, New Year's Eve, No Angst, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Sad dan, Smut, am I right, crafting, i'm so proud of the title being so accurate yall don't know, or - Freeform, soft!dan, sorta - Freeform, that instagram post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 16:39:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9193799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinking_wthatship/pseuds/sinking_wthatship
Summary: The story behind Dan's tweet about his 'wild New Year Eve'.Aka existential crisis, tooth-rooting fluff, wine & Pokémons.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (it's read over and over and over but it's 7 am and mistakes/typos happen please report them to me if you see them ily)
> 
> "to everyone asking if i went to a wild new year's eve party: i spent three hours making an iron bead rapidash" - Dan Howell's tweet a few days ago too lazy to check when exactly but let's face it yall are a bunch of nerds and know damn well which tweet i'm on about.
> 
> So I live for soft!dan and this tweet + cutest picture ever + talk about some people struggling on xmas holidays during his last liveshow + his tweet about hibernating last week just added up so perfectly for that headcanon. Also I kind of apologize for them 'introspective monologues' they kind of were me having a bit of a crisis but it does fit the story quite well I believe, also hopefully some of you guys can relate at least a bit and we all can bond over the feeling of emotional homelessness!  
> also SPOILER ? (kinda if you don't read my long ass desperate tags) there is SMUT but it's at the end (after the last ***) and I think the story works perfectly without it also if you're not into that.
> 
> Have fun reading little babes as always comments &kudos/feedback makes me happy so don't be shy ;)  
> and see ya @end notes its V IMPORTANT xxxx

Dan has absolutely nothing against New Year’s Eve parties; In fact, as someone who really appreciates doing things ironically, he likes the idea of easing into the new year with a massive hangover quite a lot, probably a deep metaphor hidden somewhere, who the hell knows.

Here’s the thing though, he’d been to quite a lot of parties in general the past few years -the perks of being a public persona he supposes- and, meanwhile he can’t say he didn’t enjoy them, he has to admit the idea of getting collectively hammered is getting quite odd to him. And he’d really like to nuance his point of view by saying swallowing terrifying amounts of alcohol isn’t the main interest of those events but that’d be at least 70% a lie (another strong 20% of the point of at least eight out of ten of those events being self-promoting). Not that he blames his YouTube-friends for using most opportunities to get wasted though, they all have a really busy and intense lifestyle and are mostly millennials so hey, nothing wrong with that.  Also, Dan isn’t completely insensitive to  alcohol and partying either, that’d be really hypocritical of him to claim that, keeping in mind that he’d resorted to the ‘social lubricant’ as he likes to call it, ever since he was a teenager. Maybe that’s a part of the problem too, that he doesn’t feel like a teenager anymore; for the past two years of his life he’d been settling into that little life he has built for himself, growing more and more confident with himself, let it be his clothing style, his videos , or his personal life. He’d come to terms with being someone that doesn’t need to socialize or show himself off, he stopped all-together to feel this crippling need to belong he’d felt for pretty much as long as he can remember, because now he has his little word (the one that he somehow nearly manages to shield from all this crazy stuff happening to him) and that’s where he feels he belong, and he doesn’t need constant validation from everyone and anyone anymore.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ said little world has somehow managed to quietly plop next to him onto the empty sofa, placing a gentle hand upon his jeans clad knee.

‘I am.’ Dan can’t help but smile, checking the beautiful man in front of him for the millionth time today.

  
Okay, so he takes back all of his inner monologue about exuberant Youtubers and growing out of alcohol. The truth is there’s nowhere in the world he wants to be more in this moment than their flat, or more accurately the part of their flat that has checkered green and blue bedsheets and where he can admire his lover he hadn’t seen for a week in all his glory.

‘Look, I’m sorry for dragging you along, I just really wanted to introduce you.’ The man has this guilty-slash-adorable look on his face that is worth ten times more than any pouts and puppy eyes in the world. And Dan throws a quick glace across the room to realize people are busy greeting each other as not everyone’s even there yet (Phil and his obsession to be on time, smh) before reaching forward and placing a tender kiss upon Phil’s cheek, lingering there for a moment before nuzzling his shoulder briefly, inhaling the familiar smell of cinnamon and cologne and home.

‘I’m not going to lie and pretend I don’t need to have you in bed and touch you all over like, _yesterday_ , but I’d much rather be here with you than in browsing position at home.’  He smirks, causing the brightest and most adorable laugh to tumble from Phil’s lips and his heart is literally wrenched with the absolute love that submerges him. He’d never thought someone could make you so _violently_ happy, but there he is.

‘Wow what an honor,’ Phil chuckles, and _Christ_ , has sarcasm ever looked that precious ‘You actually chose me rather than the internet, I think I could die right now!’ he exclaims in mocked excitement but Dan can see the genuine happiness in his green eyes.

‘Let’s not contemplate death just now’ Dan rolls his eyes ‘Although, what a beautiful irony, with all those people celebrating the new year around us.’ He can’t help but add; being cynical is his only way of coping with the outburst of cheesy feelings he’s having right now, okay, sue him.

‘What do you mean _around us_ , we’re celebrating it as well, you Grinch!’ Phil sounds offended, almost, and even though he’s clearly joking, Dan squeezes his hand anyway.

‘What does that even mean?’ He giggles ‘The Grinch is the one that hates Christmas, not NYE, you noob.’

‘I don’t care’ Phil suddenly hops on his feet, pulling Dan up with him ‘New guests have arrived, I think, let’s greet them then proceed to have a festive celebration of the world’s birthday!’ he cheers, making his way into the kitchen where new people have gathered and dragging Dan along with him.

‘But new year’s a social construct!’ Dan whines in mocked protest but Phil’s energy seems to be very much contagious, although maybe he’s just excited to spend the rest of the night by his boyfriend’s side.

***

Two hours later and Dan is back on that same sofa for another introspective session, holding a Champagne flute this time, you know, to look festive enough for Phil not to drop any conversation he might be having in order to come and rescue him from what the older man believes to be a ‘New Year Crisis’ (right? Dan had rolled his eyes so hard when the word has emerged this morning during breakfast.).

On a positive note, they’re at one of Phil’s friend from college, with a bunch of other people Phil had met back then, and while some of them do make vlogs, none of them are either big or obnoxious enough to give off this ‘YouTube convention’ vibe Dan dislikes so much at bigger parties. Also, he swears Phil has the most interesting and welcoming friends and he’d actually gotten himself in a few interesting debates during the evening.

Their friend Carrie is also here, which is good because Dan has known her for a while and he doesn’t feel that need to make a good impression upon her, which he knows is kind of ridiculous seeing as he’s been with Phil for over seven years now and they’re both grown ass men and none of Phil’s friend sees Dan as the young boy that Phil should be careful around anymore. Dan takes a sip of Champagne as he tries not to think too much about whether that last assumption is true or not. Of course it is, deep down he knows it; he’s not the fragile teenager he was back when he got with Phil. Is he madly in love with the boy to the point where it makes it hard to breathe sometimes? Possibly. But he is also his own person. Hadn’t he been his own person, he’d probably be a few feet away, mingling with people, an arm thrown around Phil’s waist, but there he was, sitting on that sofa and drinking on his own… Wow, okay, it sounded bad; but it really wasn’t. Dan enjoyed being alone, he genuinely did. What he dreaded was loneliness, but right now he wasn’t lonely.

The past week, however, had felt extremely lonely. Going back to his parents for Christmas had always been awkward but as the years went by, it didn’t even feel like going ‘back’ somewhere anymore. The word ‘back’ held the meaning of _home_ , and home was London and their rave tree and _Phil_. Phil, on the opposite, was really excited to go back to his own family, and always came back with stars in his eyes, and tons of pictures and funny stories and food. Although Dan had never really talked about how he felt about going to his family’s house in depth, not wanting to make Phil feel guilty for his own happiness because it actually cheered Dan up a bit as well, Phil was very far from dumb and had offered to bring Dan along multiple times. The thing was, as much as Dan appreciated Phil’s family, it was still Phil’s family and having never had something like that, Dan was absolutely terrified to take it away from him. He knew it didn’t make sense to other people, not even to Phil’s mum that had invited him a lot as well, but it made sense to him. He knew that his presence there would look sad to Phil’s parents and siblings because they were a happy and unified family and they wouldn’t be able to hide the compassion in their looks as they’d have a family-less Dan at their table.

Dan just wanted Phil to enjoy his time in Manchester, and even though he did miss Phil, the texts he’d get on the 24th from him, silly jokes and cheesy love confessions being sent to him all day was the most endearing thing ever.

Dan also quite enjoyed getting to see his grandma as well as catching up with Adrian, so the whole week wasn’t pure sadness; he’d just been quite depressed by the end of it.  
He was back to Phil now, and although he was a bit of a melancholic mess, he was determined to see the bright side of things. So, no one to vlog their party, meaning he could stay on his own and be asocial as well as going to his boyfriend whenever he wanted. Yea, the evening could be worse.

‘How’re you doing up there, sweetie?’ The hostess of the party, Phil’s friend Jenna had come to him, looking a bit tipsy but also genuinely concerned whether or not Phil’s boyfriend was having fun.

‘I’m fine, the food is delicious.’ Dan smiles politely. The food was indeed amazing, even though the past week has been a complete comfort-eating mess for Dan and he sort of is getting tired of feeling eight months pregnant all the freaking time.

‘Why thank you, dear!’ Jenna grins, obviously pleased, taking a sit next to him on the sofa. Well, introspection time over, apparently. Dan decides it probably is for the best, chugging the remainders of his glass and mentally preparing for some civil social interaction.

***

As it turned out, the conversation wasn’t as mentally demanding as he thought it’d be as, barely five minutes into it, Jenna, who was actually a DIY blogger, was quick to catch on Dan’s emotionally numb state and had offered him a tour of her crafting atelier. They had settled there with a bottle of Pinot Noir as Dan had found some iron beads and proceeded to create a Rapidash as Jenna friendly sorted out beads upon beads to find the right colored ones. They drank and crafted and chatted and Dan was actually starting to enjoy himself. He was filled with appreciation for the people he had surrounded himself with that thought it was okay he, a twenty-five years old giant sized man, spent New Year’s eve carefully avoiding all guests while manufacturing an iron-beaded Pokémon and drinking wine.

He didn’t even care as he slightly burned himself while ironing the thing, rather bursting into a giggle fit with Jenna due to a ‘Don’t craft and bant’ joke. So okay, maybe alcohol was an actual social-lubricant even after all these years but hey, he was feeling more Christmassy he’d had in the past ten days, so he didn’t mind being wrong about that.

Their banter is interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by an intrigued Phil entering the room.

‘There you are!’ He exclaims cheerfully at Dan, causing the latter to smile immediately ‘What are you guys doing in here?’ He asks curiously, his attention back to the two of them.

‘We were crafting’ Jenna answers ‘Dan has talent, you know, much bravery too!’ she says that last bit while eyeing the younger boy knowingly.

‘Is that so?’ Phil chuckles, furrowing his brows at Dan adorably, in a confused manner.

‘I literally burned myself!’ Dan exclaims, waving his finger in the air to show Phil ‘I could’ve totes died. But I survived!” he smiles triumphantly.

‘Good then, it would’ve been a bit awkward to start the new year without you.’ Phil jokes, causing Jenna to let out a fond ‘Aww’.

‘That’s a social construct!’ Dan whines once again, causing both Phil and Jenna to laugh, the woman shaking her head and mentioning something about what a unique young man Phil had found himself.

‘Well, it might be, but there’s around a quarter left till that socially manufactured notion and I’d very much spend it with everyone here, including you two, you pretentious hipsters.’ Phil chuckles as he points an accusatory finger at the both of them.

‘Oh goodness gracious, is it that late already?’ Jenna exclaimes, checking her designer watch as she stood up quickly, placing her hand on Dan’s shoulder ‘You’d have to excuse me dear, I need to do my hostess job and sort everything for the count-down.’ She explains, unplugging the iron (that might be the most responsible decision considering the two living-disasters in the room, Dan notices.) ‘Countdown which I expect you both to attend, otherwise we can have fun exploring the social construct that sudden death is!’ she jokes, exiting the room quickly.

‘Death isn’t a social construct though, it’s a _fact_.’ Dan whimpers at Phil, causing the latter to pull him into a warm embrace, making Dan yelp as he giggles fondly into his neck, placing a single kiss on his jaw as he whispers, ‘God, I love you so much.’ He then pulls away to look at Dan’s face, pleased to see a genuine smile plastered on it as they kiss gently, Phil’s arm wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist protectively.

‘Are you okay?’ Phil asks softly at last, reaching forward to rearrange Dan’s fringe expertly as the younger boy nodded, body still pressed to Phil's as he wraps his arms around the man’s neck loosely, just enjoying the proximity.

‘I really am, actually’ Dan smiles genuinely ‘Are you having a good time?’

‘Good to know.’ Phil kisses the top of his head gently ‘I am too, but if you’re feeling like it, you could join and I’d be having an even better time.’ He smiles ‘If you’re done with your art, that is.’ He adds playfully.

'Oh my god!' Dan squeals excitedly, suddenly remembering his artistic creation that laid forgotten onto the iron board 'Look what I did!' he beams, holding the phone-sized object up for Phil to see, the latter immediately reaching for it with wide eyes, inspecting it then looking back at Dan, who can actually feel himself blushing because of the genuine attention Phil is paying to a lame object he had just made to escape his mind for a while.

‘That’s so cool!’ Phil exclaims in a both genuine and enthusiastic way Dan is pretty sure he was the only grown adult to be able to master. ‘Is that a Ponyta?’ he tries, earning himself an undignified gasp as Dan clenches his right hand over where his own heart is supposed to be in his chest.

‘Oh my god it’s a Rapidash!’ Dan’s sweater-pawed left hand flies to his own mouth and maybe being a hopeless drama queen had to be another way of coping to be left alone in a quite isolated room with his boyfriend he hadn’t properly kissed in what suddenly felt like forever.

‘Okay, okay, sorry!’ Phil grins apologetically ‘Nerd.’ He huffs out mocking annoyance but he can't help but stare longingly at his boyfriend.

They remain like this for a while, stood up in the middle of the room, one of Phil’s arms around Dan’s waist while his other hand cradles one of the boy's rosy cheeks, thumb toying with the dimple there as Dan simply nuzzles his face into the comforting touch. There are noises outside the room, people mingling around and the pre-countdown frenzy can be heard already.

‘Shall we go?’ Phil offers after a while. ‘It’s almost midnight.’

He is expecting another speech about the abstract notion that New Year really is but in lieu of that, he felt himself being pulled forward as soft lips crash against his and all he can do is close his eyes as he loses himself into the kiss.

‘What was that for?’ he giggles as their lips part.

‘It was your New Year’s kiss’ Dan smiles sheepishly ‘As there’ll be people around for the actual thing I figured we might as well get it over with now.’

‘How thoughtful of you’ Phil muses just slightly jokingly, placing another peck upon the slightly chapped lips. He doesn't get a chance to say anything else as their names are being called loudly, Jenna shouting something about mere seconds being left and so they urge out of the room, not before squeezing each other’s hand in a silent promise to have a proper 2017 kiss later.

***

Turned out they actually had about ten full minutes left when they were back into the lounge but there were glasses full of Champagne for everyone and some exquisite looking pastries. They munch and chat and when it's time for the countdown they all gather onto the balcony together.

When it turned midnight, they could witness the fireworks painting the London’s sky as they all cheered and hugged.

And while the pair had agreed on no PDAs, Phil did intertwine his fingers with Dan’s, quiet words of love whispered into his ear and the younger boy was actually very happy he had come along.

As it turned out they both got their midnight kiss from the household’s dog that kept attempting to straight up make out with them, fortunately only setting for Dan’s cheek and Phil’s jaw.

It was about 2 am when they both decided to call it a night and hug everyone before stumbling into a cab, Dan’s head immediately resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder as their intertwined hands rested upon Phil’s lap. Although he’d been waiting to be alone with Phil for what seemed like ages, all the wine and food and gentle fingers playing with his hair had gotten Dan sleepy by the end of the ride and Phil had to shake him ever so softly to wake him up, handing the keys to him as he let him lead the way to their flat while he paid the driver and wished the man a happy new year.

***

Thirty minutes later, Dan hears the faucet being turned down as he peacefully lies in Phil’s bed, all showered and curly haired himself, waiting for his lover to join.

It’s another five minutes before Phil finally immerges; hair blow-dried in a messy quiff, glasses perched on his nose and his new Christmas themed pajama pants on, courtesy of his mum. He climbs into bed and under the sheets and Dan immediately rolls into his bare chest, nestling his face into the crook of his neck and breathing the smell of soap and cinnamon and _Phil_ in.

‘Hello’ Phil hums softly ‘Happy 2017, beautiful boy.’ he whispers, leaning down to place a firm kiss upon the curly locks, running his fingers along Dan’s shirtless back soothingly.

‘Happy new year, old sap.’ Dan smiles, tilting his head up slightly in order to mouth at Phil’s collar bone lightly ‘Where’s my celebratory kiss?’ he smirks teasingly and all Phil can do is oblige, holding Dan’s warm and pliant body close as they kiss. Dan has nothing but boxers on but Phil is warm and the bed feels incredibly cozy and he feels all his muscles relax and he could possibly drift off right now except his stomach is swirling pleasantly and his hands practically itch to touch the expanse of inviting skin beneath him.

Dan keeps doing that thing where just the tip of his tongue barely grazes Phil’s bottom lip before retracting back into his own mouth, making Phil groan slightly against his lips as Dan giggles childishly. He knows it’s cheesy and probably school-girl like but sometimes he likes cheesy and he likes acting innocent and more than anything he likes to feel how eager Phil always is to work for it, so hey, fuck off.

‘Stop laughing!’ Phil scoffs but it’s playful as he brings a hand up to tug at the brown locks gently but firmly enough to make Dan whimper softly, allowing their tongues to finally dance together, the kiss slow and deliberate. Dan’s sleepiness from earlier is pretty much gone, all the built-up desire and longing for Phil igniting within him and setting every single nerve endings in him on fire. He grows more and more aware of the strain in his left arm which is propping him up on his side against the mattress, and that is also quite a problem because he can only use one hand to roam across Phil’s pale body and that just isn’t enough.

‘I want you.’ He mumbles against Phil’s lips and he feels him smile before he’s gently being rolled onto his back, Phil straddling his lap rather than hovering above him so he’s still able to caress Dan's chest and run his thumb over his ribs as he leans down to press their foreheads together.

‘Yea? What do you want, bear?’ Phil murmurs but there is no teasing behind it; he kisses the boy’s neck softly, dragging his lips along the delicate skin and making Dan shiver in the most delicious way.

‘I want to feel you inside.’ Dan whispers hotly at the shell of Phil’s ear, pawing at the expanse of his back as well as the outline of his bicep and bucking his hips up ever so slightly because he absolutely enjoys the soft skin of Phil’s bum and the roughness of his pajamas mixed together.

They’re past the point where they’d spend up to an hour touching and kissing before daring to move on below the belt. After years of learning to know each other so well they could probably guess any beauty marks or blemishes just by feeling the skin, they both know when to take things slow and when it isn’t needed, as well as the little things that makes the other person tick. As an example, Dan just loves being able to see as much as feel his lover’s hands on him, hence why Phil always makes sure to fondle his hip or chest or shoulder, where Dan can sneak a glance at it every once in a while and have the sweet reminder that he’s Phil’s to keep and take care of and love.

Phil just nods against his neck, moving briefly to peck Dan’s lips a couple times before pulling away all together, straightening up and balancing himself on Dan’s lap in order to reach into the top bedside drawer, feeling for the lube. It’s quite precarious as Dan takes the opportunity to place open mouthed kisses all over his chest and gently sucks a nipple into his mouth, making it considerably more difficult to focus on the task at hand.

As Phil’s hand does find the bottle, he looks down to an expectant Dan as the boy beneath him keeps mouthing at his skin mindlessly, their eyes locked together.

‘Condoms?’ He smiles gently, questioningly. They don’t use them that often, and purely for practical reasons. They decided to get tested and go bare years ago but in times like these where Phil would rather not pull out in time, the older boy likes to make sure Dan wants him to come inside of him; it can feel a bit gross sometimes and when they know they won’t have the time or energy to clean up afterwards, condoms are useful.

Not tonight though, if judging by the way Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s torso, making the older tumble with a yelp, using his free hand to hold onto the headboard on instincts, shortly avoiding crashing onto Dan’s face.

‘How about you don’t kill me right now?’ Dan suggests smugly and Phil’s eyes widen in mocked offense.

‘How about you don’t use _me_ as a reason to kill yourself right now?’ He jokes and Dan barks out a laugh.

‘Leave them, come here.’ He orders gently, shifting slightly upwards on the bed and kissing the inside of Phil’s wrist which is resting against the headboard centimeters away from Dan’s face. Phil immediately obliges, rolling off of Dan and kneeling onto the bed as Dan lifts his hips up immediately to have his boxers taken off, simultaneously hooking his fingers into Phil’s pajama pants to tug them down as well. As Phil’s cock springs free, already almost completely hard and unbelievably gorgeous, Dan can’t help but reach over to grab one of Phil’s bum cheeks and urge him closer, causing the boy to awkwardly knee-walk across the bed until he’s at Dan’s face level.

‘Hi there’ Dan chuckles, holding himself up on his elbows to bump the velvety head with his nose playfully, making Phil let out an adorable laugh.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Phil giggles breathily as Dan just drags his bottom lip across the soft warm skin, lapping at the soft head gently, tentatively and humming in appreciation.

‘Missed your taste so much.’ Dan moans, making a show of sucking the slippery skin into his mouth, keeping eye-contact the whole time and Phil bites his lip, stare hungry and fights the urge to moan as he traces the bump his cock outlines into Dan’s cheek with his thumb.

‘Touch me’ Dan briefly pulls out to keen, squeezing Phil’s hip as he relaxes his throat and extends his jaw to take Phil in to the base in one smooth, expert movement. Phil all but groans, clumsily reaching back to wrap a lose fist around Dan’s already flushed cock, squeezing his eyes shut at the pornographic sight he has in front of him.

Dan moans around him as Phil gently cups his balls in his hand, sending thousands of vibrations to his core and he decides he needs to move on quickly.

‘You’re so beautiful, babe.’ Phil whispers, voice raspy with lust. He pulls out reluctantly and Dan actually _whimpers_ disappointedly and Phil might go legit insane with how sexy Dan is.

As soon as Phil can move, he promptly removes his boyfriend’s underwear the rest of the way, tossing it somewhere across the room and moves in between his legs once again, this time cupping the back of his thighs and lifting them up swiftly, hooking each knee over his shoulder to have perfect access to where Dan is already clenching around nothing. After three of Phil’s finger are coated in lube, the man leans down at last, chest pressed flushed against Dan’s as the younger boy reaches in between them to stroke Phil up and down at a gentle, steady pace.

‘Please’ Dan murmurs, their faces so close their lips brush as he speaks ‘C’mon’.

Phil presses two lubed up fingers at Dan’s entrance, circling the rim teasingly, making Dan huff impatient little breaths against his lover’s lips ‘Please, please, Phil…’ He pleads like a mantra, eyes squeezed shut and Phil crashes their lips together, swallowing Dan’s moans as he presses the fingers inside quite easily thanks to the lube and Dan’s arousal.

‘You’re so tight, you have no idea how much I’ve missed this.’ Phil coos against Dan’s lips. They kiss, wet and messy and breathless and Dan plants his feet into Phil’s back, gasping and moaning as Phil stretches him out with care, twisting his fingers expertly to brush against Dan’s most sensitive spot every once in a while.

By the time Phil is scissoring three of his fingers inside all the while kissing the side of Dan’s face sloppily, Dan is properly begging Phil to fuck him, squeezing and thumbing his swollen head to rile him up. Needless to say it works wonders.

‘I will, babe, just a sec’ Phil pants, taking his fingers out gently and squeezing some lube into Dan’s hand, the younger boy coating him quickly. Once ready, Phil lines himself up with Dan’s entrance, intertwining his free hand with Dan’s as he presses their noses together. He hisses out loud when he thrusts forward because he’s surrounded with tightness and warmth and _Dan_.

‘You okay?’ Phil whispers, kissing Dan’s nose and cheeks and the crease of his furrowed brows.

‘God _yes_ , you feel so good.’ Dan moans.

As Phil builds up a rhythm, thrusting deep and slow, pulling out barely halfway before plunging back in, Dan’s toes curl as every single thrust hits his swollen prostate dead on. They’re pressed against each other from the waist and up, their hands intertwined next to Dan’s face onto the bed and Dan’s free hand scratching Phil’s back as the older boy lavishes his sensitive neck with kisses.

Dan’s ninety-nine percent sure he’s in Heaven right now, sparks of electricity surging through his whole body and heat pooling in his lower stomach as he feels like a knot of pleasure is being tightened by the minute.

‘Baby, please go a bit faster’ he moans and he looks so sinfully blissed out it makes Phil dizzy as he picks up his pace, free hand wrapping around Dan’s neck and just pressing down ever so slightly.

Dan actually whines out curses and pleas at that, head thrown back as he digs his fingernails harder into Phil’s skin.

So okay, maybe he has a thing for being choked during sex. He likes to think it’s purely for the sake of irony though, as he simply enjoys the gesture, not so much to be properly unable to breath. Phil’s always very gentle, but the thought that he has literally no control over the situation goes straight to Dan’s groin; speaking of which.

‘Fuck, _Phil_ ’ Dan inhales sharply as Phil eases the pressure onto his throat.

‘Yea, you like it sweetheart?’ Phil pants, his breathing starting to get raged as he felt himself getting closer and closer ‘God, you have no idea how much I missed your noises.’

He keeps sweet talking Dan’s ear off as he struggles to maintain the pace of his thrusts, feeling himself approaching climax and sneaking their intertwined and lube slicked fingers down to stroke Dan’s cock in rhythm, causing the man below him to lose his mind;

‘Kiss me, kiss me!’ Dan cries out brokenly, frantically tugging at Phil’s hair to pull their mouths flush. It’s not much of a kiss, just moaning and panting into each other’s space.

‘I’m going to come, Dan.’ Phil groans, properly rocking into the boy and tugging at his throbbing member ‘ _Come on_ , babe, c’mon’ He urges sweetly ‘Come for me.’

It takes about five more spot-on rapid thrusts and Dan is gone, body tensing up from head to toe as he bucks up into Phil and the mix of his blissed out face as well as the strong grip of his hole around Phil is enough to push to older man past the edge, collapsing into Dan’s chest and hips still moving in sync with his hand around Dan as he comes harder he has in a while.

When Phil finally recovers enough to be aware of his surroundings again they are both breathing hard and his back is stinging in the most amazing way from where Dan must have left some actual scratches on his skin. It's at least another minute after he realises he's still buried inside the boy beneath him and so he shifts his hips slightly, his softening member slipping out, causing the other boy to let out a faint protest. 

‘Excuse me Sir, you’re sort of crushing me.’ Dan sasses but his tone is too floaty and post-orgasmic.

‘Sorry.’ Phil laughs breathily as he rolls off of Dan, throwing an arm along his lover’s waist and tossing the covers onto the floor.

They take a few minutes to snuggle naked, Phil placing soft, soothing pecks at the back of Dan’s hair, inhaling the smell of shampoo, sex and _home_. ‘I love you’ he murmurs at last.

‘You’re cheesier than a fucking _cheese soufflé.’_ Dan sighs sleepily and Phil head-butts his shoulder. ‘Hey! Take that back’ he pouts, to which Dan turns around, dimples visible and eyes just completely _fond_.

‘ _Never_.’ He giggles, then, ‘I love you too; it feels nice to be back home.’ He confesses and they both know he’s not talking about London.

 

‘It feels nice to start the new year off with you.’ Phil admits and he sort of knows Dan is rolling his eyes before he even sees it but the way his hand is being squeezed shows him Dan is very much happy to be there too.

**Author's Note:**

> -THREE MONTHS WITHOUT UPLOADING SHE COMES BACK WITH THAT FIC-
> 
> I'm really sorry I apologize a lot I is bad.  
> To help my case the tiniest bit laptop crashed with all my drafts & writing on my phone is just plain annoying ok also who am I kidding I procrastinate so much I'm actually considering myself being ahead for my future life lol *cries*
> 
> -You could get involved!-  
> I'm gonna start taking some prompts from you guys to see if this can help my writing blocks! Just feel free messaging me whatevs phantasy (both smut and non smut) you have and I'll attempt to make it come true with my ultimate phan trash powers yay.
> 
> (Also some of you might be interested in joining me on twitter @casualwreck where I could keep you guys up to date about upcoming fics/cry about d&p/debate on the meaning of lyf &shizz)
> 
> LAST BUT NOT LEAST Thank you guys so much for the support and lovely comments and kudos that keep coming up until 3 months after my last fic, they motivate me so much and they make me happy.  
> I will try not to suck as much in the future, posting these really improves my days.  
> Thank you once again ily xx


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